tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post7579125809888831732..comments2020-09-24T03:38:13.225-04:00Comments on Razing Dawn: My Black son can't take your white daughter to Prom.Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-39727145196725714982013-09-18T00:03:43.848-04:002013-09-18T00:03:43.848-04:00Hello Friend,
Thank you for your transparency. Yo...Hello Friend,<br /><br />Thank you for your transparency. You have answered your own question. Love and support your daughter. Parenting is a hard thing to navigate at times. We have to make tough decisions, ask hard questions, and sometimes go it alone. I appreciate your decision to end prejudice in your family, please remain true to that. Remember, that young man is someone else's pride and joy as well. You have done a great job raising an honor student and an obviously talented, well-liked daughter if she is also a cheerleader. The best thing that you have done is raise a daughter that is neither afraid nor ashamed to be around people different than she. That speaks to the courage and confidence she has within and the trust she has for you, otherwise, she would have dated behind your back. It's okay to cry mom, it's okay to be sad, confused, angry. But please, do not violate the trust with your daughter or plant hatred inside her. On the other hand, don't be naive. The world can still be cruel. You may have to have "the talk" with your daughter in the most loving way you know how. Let her know that she will face adversity, prejudice, and discrimination. Tell her it may even come from within her own family. Prepare her for what is ahead. You may even have to allow her to gain a few bumps and bruises along the way. Be near, but don't shield her from what is to come. She may have to cry a few tears, but it is all a part of growing up. It's how we all learned. Just be sure you're there to dry those tears and be a shoulder to lean on. It's almost like teaching her to walk again. She may stumble and fall, but it's all a part of the process. This is also the point where you defend her to your family, friends, and co-workers. Everyone doesn't need to know your family business, but your decision should be made in your house and you should all be united on all fronts. Fourteen may be old enough to date, but it's a LONG way from the altar. Embrace your children, be confident in who you are and who you have raised them to be. You, my friend, are a world changer. Thank you.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-34184773741336243792013-09-17T08:04:44.933-04:002013-09-17T08:04:44.933-04:00Hello Dawn..I'm not sure why I'm writing y...Hello Dawn..I'm not sure why I'm writing you. I guess maybe I'm seeking guidance and don't know where to look. I hope you can help me. I'm the mother of three daughters and a son. My 14 year old daughter is a beautiful girl..inside and out. Shes a cheerleader and honor student. I just recently found out she likes a black boy. I am the daughter of a very prejudiced mom and dad. Who taught me to hate. Even though I never agreed with their views, and didn't raise my kids to hate.. part of their preaching must've tainted me. I never dreamed or thought about "what if my daughter wanted to date a black guy" when it happened, I broke down and cried. I don't think it was because of the color of his skin but because I know this will never be accepted in my family and the hurt it will bring to us all. However, I want to support my daughter. I'm just so torn and sad. Please, if you have any words of wisdom I'd appreciate them. Thank you, DawnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-28031526355008132182013-01-02T23:53:51.305-05:002013-01-02T23:53:51.305-05:00It is unfortunate that you missed the point of thi...It is unfortunate that you missed the point of this post. This is not about the Hollywood sensationalism of the prized white girl or the latest episode of a scripted reality show. This is real life. This is about our lack of ability to embrace differences and respect one another in a covenantal Christian community. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-90927211402155527882012-11-07T12:28:01.697-05:002012-11-07T12:28:01.697-05:00Sorry for your pain; my white son encounters a dif...Sorry for your pain; my white son encounters a different kind of prejudice having grown up with a learning disability. At his high school, black kids and the white girls that proudly date them and parade the pictures in their Facebook profiles shun him. I empathize with the difficulty of being a mother watching your child unfairly subjected to the hurtful judgement of narrow minds. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-25575332311294942102012-10-11T04:42:24.412-04:002012-10-11T04:42:24.412-04:00Awwwwwwww - the black guy doesn't get to get a...Awwwwwwww - the black guy doesn't get to get a white girl. waaaaaaaaaaa - cry me a river. Look at the media - 24 hours a day they pair off black guys with white girls, and endlessly brainwash white girls. Some white guys have had it with this genocide by brainwashing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-92007336301805609062012-08-22T20:38:25.029-04:002012-08-22T20:38:25.029-04:00Dear Dawn, I just came across your blog through an...Dear Dawn, I just came across your blog through another one today and was heartbroken to read this post. The mother of three kids myself, I simply teach our children that we love and respect all people equally. Period. <br />I am so very sorry your son suffered the pain of this experience. No one should be treated that way - especially by someone who claims to be a follower of Christ. Shame on them!!!! <br />Sending you Love and prayers and a commitment not to be silent when I see injustices like this committed. <br />Monna<br />Monnahttp://organicmamacafe.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-23832853341831527842012-08-07T04:11:11.104-04:002012-08-07T04:11:11.104-04:00Thanks Mama, be blessed.Thanks Mama, be blessed.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-64355901235438967352012-08-07T04:10:43.202-04:002012-08-07T04:10:43.202-04:00Keep loving on that sweet baby and give her Jesus....Keep loving on that sweet baby and give her Jesus. She will find a wonderful "mom in love" that reminds her of her own. Blessings to you friend.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-81397089304552496762012-08-07T04:08:32.770-04:002012-08-07T04:08:32.770-04:00Thank you Mary.Thank you Mary.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-60937913517607208782012-08-07T04:08:04.736-04:002012-08-07T04:08:04.736-04:00Beautiful Maureen, thanks for sharing!Beautiful Maureen, thanks for sharing!Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-71201264434342250542012-08-07T03:54:34.075-04:002012-08-07T03:54:34.075-04:00God bless you and your sweet family Emily. Thanks....God bless you and your sweet family Emily. Thanks.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00588546944602406406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-70672893880243633082012-05-10T23:43:07.278-04:002012-05-10T23:43:07.278-04:00Dawn,
You don't know me, but your words hav...Dawn,<br /> You don't know me, but your words have inspired me. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for writing with such grace while still standing for son. My daughter is only a year old. I can only dream that when she falls in love, that her man will have a wonderful mother like you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-76005079344633397822012-04-15T12:12:58.880-04:002012-04-15T12:12:58.880-04:00There are many exceptions - hopefully, some day it...There are many exceptions - hopefully, some day it will just be part of the rules. Here's my daughter with her african-american date.<br />https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B4CfLEaBAXZhbjFHRi16NmNZSm8Maureen Burkharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05458423459262351906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-43876118308767939102012-04-10T22:19:19.584-04:002012-04-10T22:19:19.584-04:00Sending encouragement your way. You're truly a...Sending encouragement your way. You're truly an imitable model for what it means to seek unity within the Body. Thank you.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10342118966157222893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-43835519083307314802012-04-03T08:59:49.769-04:002012-04-03T08:59:49.769-04:00Dawn thank you for sharing your experience. It bro...Dawn thank you for sharing your experience. It brought to mind an experience of my own. I am now a 38 year old mother but at the age of 13 I went to my father looking for affirmation of something I thought I had all figured out. You see some kids at school had begun dating interracially. As you can imagine back in the 80's everyone had an opinion and most fell on the side of "it is just not right". So I casually mentioned it to my father by saying "daddy there is a white girl dating a black guy and a black girl dating a white guy at school" with an inflection of shock in my voice. He remained quiet so I added, "what would YOU do if I did THAT"? At which point he simply said, "well if you were happy I guess I wouldn't do anything". Then as I do now I lived and breathed for my father's approval and this simple sentence shrank me down to nothing. He put me in my place and told me very clearly he was disappointed in my behavior. It was a crossroads in my life. I have never again thought to judge someone based on the color of their skins. I often think how different I would be had my father added fuel to my hatred. And just to paint a full picture this is a man born in the eastern farms of NC in 1936. He had every opportunity to embrace hatred. Parents must realize even when their children no longer sit in their laps, even when they have convinced themselves they are fully grown, even when they are embarrassed by the mere presence of their parents; children are STILL listening and watching and learning. I pray that this girl is able to make her own way and not be unduly influenced by her father's fears.Grace Leoninoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-69515655857544312732012-03-29T05:52:19.398-04:002012-03-29T05:52:19.398-04:00The parent's decision is not a "sin"...The parent's decision is not a "sin". It is not something with which I agree, but it is not my place to say that the father has sinned. It is, however, an opportunity for you to pick up the phone and have a conversation. Personally, that is what I would have done before posting about it and bringing attention to it to the community. If the parent has seen or heard of the posts, he is most likely not going to talk to you about it or he may just deny it. Why wouldn't you talk to the parent before posting about it on social networking sites?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-69909566853788668352012-03-28T14:52:13.908-04:002012-03-28T14:52:13.908-04:00(Continued from first post)
While I know this is...(Continued from first post)<br /><br /><br />While I know this is just a small scab compared to the wound your son is experiencing, I have to tell you that I understand your anger. It is justified, and I am sorry your family is dealing with this. I haven't read every comment to this blog, but I did get a moment to read some. I find it sad that people here are rebuking you for sending your son to a "white school". Call it ignorance, call it rose-colored-glasses, but didn't we desegregate schools decades ago? Either way, you and your husband spent a lot of time putting thought into the education of your children. Kudos!<br /><br />One thing has stuck out in my mind while I was reading your blog post: the girl gave a "tearful cancellation". Good. That means she wasn't using her dad as an excuse. The issue here is her dad's small mind, not her fears of showing up to prom with a “black boy”. This means she understands God's love. She has looked passed society's compartments for people based on race and was looking forward to going to school with a young man of good character, whom she enjoys spending time with. Whether prom was supposed to be romantic for the two of them or not, she was absolutely looking forward to it. Please, point this out to your son. He needs to remember this. <br /><br />Please remember that God has a perfect plan for you and your family. As cliché as this may come off, He allowed this to happen for a reason. It may not be a lesson for your family. He may have something in store for the father and daughter. The love and patience you show to them may be the message they need. Your standing up for your son may be the wake-up call the father needs to show him that he's not as Christ-like as he claims to be. Maybe he doesn't even realize how sinful his thought-process is. Who knows? I will hold you, your son, and your husband up in prayer; as well as the daughter (who knows her father is wrong, but is doing her best to honor to him) and her father. Jesus overturned some tables... so anger isn't a sin. Just make sure your anger remains righteous, and your message is appropriate. I'm sure you will, but it's a gentle reminder.KatieBethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17248005179230622467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-66752844180635392312012-03-28T10:40:58.324-04:002012-03-28T10:40:58.324-04:00All I can say, is that I'm so sorry. That'...All I can say, is that I'm so sorry. That's awful. Hard for me to believe that people can still think that way. *sigh*. Blessings to you. (I linked over here from Jen Hatmaker's blog and I love your writing!)Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18313085272194045646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-40646531732384775172012-03-28T01:20:13.769-04:002012-03-28T01:20:13.769-04:00Just wanted to say that my husband was asked by a ...Just wanted to say that my husband was asked by a black girl to a high school dance way back when; they were good school friends. My husband had said yes and went home and told his dad (my father-in-law,) that he had a date to the dance. (He never mentioned that she was black.) The girl came to school a few days before the dance and told my husband that she had gotten her dress and was so excited, as was he. Well the night of the dance, as he was putting on his tux, somehow it came up that the girl he was going with was black. His dad made him call and cancel... and pretend he was sick. Then his dad kept him home from school for two days just so she would think that he was really sick.<br /><br />So awful! My husband told me that he felt SO BAD for her. That she must have cried the whole night. My heart breaks just thinking about it.<br /><br />Fast forward to now, over twenty years later, my husband and I have adopted two black children and two brown children to compliment our four biological children. My father in law is head over heals for all his grandchildren, especially the one who has traveled all the way from Africa. Only God! Praise be to God.Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11751115088425494145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-37502639036735850472012-03-27T19:23:04.864-04:002012-03-27T19:23:04.864-04:00Dawn, I have never read your blog before, but I wa...Dawn, I have never read your blog before, but I want you to know that the spirit of God shines through in you. I'm amazed at your ability to respond so lovingly to such idiotic comments. The idea that dating a person of color would ruin someone's future dating life is as racist as not wanting your child to date someone of another race. As a white mom to beautiful African daughters, I know a day like this will probably come for our family, and I hope I can handle it with half as much grace as you have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-8167293736439439612012-03-27T18:49:04.130-04:002012-03-27T18:49:04.130-04:00Hi,
I found this blog through a link from Jen Hatm...Hi,<br />I found this blog through a link from Jen Hatmaker's blog. What a terrible story. But thank you. Thank you for posting it. I need to hear this. Your son's story is important. Also important are some of the comments following this story - many are such wonderful, encouraging, beautiful stories. Many just demonstrate a truth with which some of us need to be faced: racism is not dead. Much as I can be deluded into thinking that. Senseless degradation of others still occurs in our society and even under the name of Christianity. <br />Your grace is something that I aspire to... Your eternal perspective... The way that you are choosing to love your brother in Christ through bringing his sin to him. Your son's response. These are marks of Jesus. What a gift to have a small peek into your life as a woman of faith. <br />Thank you for sharing. And thank you for your confident, gracious responses to people who say that you are less. How awful to see them. But how important for me to see those as well. Your story and the stories of others has changed how I see the world. May God bless you with the continued joy that is yours as you choose love.<br />EmilyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-91442827565511684402012-03-27T18:08:50.270-04:002012-03-27T18:08:50.270-04:00Hi, I found your post through Jen's. man, this...Hi, I found your post through Jen's. man, this is SO HEARTBREAKING!!!!!!!!!! I come from a biracial family and I love the mixed heritages. WHY? WHY? WHY? WOuld that dad do such a thing?:( Well, of course, I know why :(( . SAD. Please post an update and tell us how the conversation went...dying to know!! Your son sounds amazing, because of his character. I am so sorry he has to go through this, praying the Lord uses this for good in his life. UGH...makes me mad. WHO CARES ABOUT THE COLOR OF SKIN!!!! WHY can't America get past this?? I'd be proud to have him ask my daughter, as would my hubby. LOOK AT THE HEART PEOPLE, that's all God sees...the rest just covers us up, it doesn't make us who we are!!! It sounds like you are dealing with this in such a Christ-like way....I admire that. Not sure if I could keep such restraint... ;). Praying!Johannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02426791394343032657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-2904570552267202182012-03-27T18:05:43.795-04:002012-03-27T18:05:43.795-04:00First of all, I hurt for you and your son. I am in...First of all, I hurt for you and your son. I am in a Asian-Caucasian marriage and so far have not delt with this issue, but we homeschool and live in a place where mixed marriages are common. I remember my husband (Asian) telling me that it's cool for(some)white people to have minority friends, but only if there is one..then they start getting nervous when they invite others of the same race. It seems then like the friendship was only for their benefit, to say they were open minded, but not for a genuine appreciation for that person. If that was the case in your situation, it is sad that a Christian father would have a mindset like that. I pray that God will give you His wisdom to share His love in light of an unjust situation. And your son, too. He sounds like a wonderful young man.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-15979780394311609982012-03-27T16:09:38.218-04:002012-03-27T16:09:38.218-04:00We have known the difficulty of racism in the Sout...We have known the difficulty of racism in the South and have painful stories as well. Oh how sorry I am for your pain today, there is nothing like this sharp ache in a mother's heart. In these times we have discovered a great opportunity, to truly love like Jesus did. This will be the only "solution"/healing for any racism. When our children are not included or are persecuted for color or race or different taste,for their purity choices or better yet for their spicy/joyful sold- out love for Jesus, we take our directions from the law of love that Jesus commanded in Matthew 5. To behold a child praying for that one who was so wicked in action, with the intention of forgiveness in their heart, (perhaps at times even before my heart may feel it) has been one of the MOST beautiful,glory- filled experiences of my life. As believers, this is our First option :“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." there is no other way...Gillian G Tuckerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02979553355612962201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562058870221301632.post-53631584169996681882012-03-27T14:48:35.880-04:002012-03-27T14:48:35.880-04:00It is HILARIOUS. So proud of you, Dawn. Keep spea...It is HILARIOUS. So proud of you, Dawn. Keep speaking out.missy roepnackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18262510556811559404noreply@blogger.com