Friday, January 14, 2011

"Uh, mom, that's a little harsh. You should be more like Jerry's mom." "Boy! Shut up and wash them dishes!!"

Apparently, when you raise smart kids, they eventually get a mind of their own and use all that you have taught them against you.  Such it was with my teenage son, Doc. He remembered all the times I have asked him to be polite and respectful to everyone, never judge someone based on the opinions of others, and NEVER hurt a friend's feelings.  So imagine my chagrin when he slowly began to hold all of that goodness and love against me in the case of "Jerry's mom."

Picture yourself and your child on a teeter totter.  You are at the base. The foundation. The control.  The kid is dangling in the air.  The place of insecurity.  At this point, he depends solely on  you for guidance and protection.  But slowly, they grow.  They get a little heavier in their knowledge.  They get a cool teacher with a world view that makes them think.  A little heavier.  They meet an "awesome" friend that teaches them something new. A little heavier.  Then they meet Jerry's mom.  Now your kid realizes his weight is equal to yours. He has teetered your totter and now you are eyeball to eyeball. 

You see, Jerry's mom is every mom's arch nemesis.  She's the syrupy sweet mild mannered (and skinny) mom with perfect hair, a clean house, great personality, lots of Sunday school friends, and a well mannered kid.  In public Jerry's mom sets the standard for the rest of us. She is always surrounded by friends, planning PTA, leading bible study and spreading sunbeams and chocolate drops to everyone. She knows every one's kid by name and personally invites every parent to everything. 

She is the mom every kid wishes they had.  When I was young and dumb, I wanted to be Jerry's mom.  I soon found out that my son ain't Jerry, and I ain't his momma!! For a while Doc tried to mold me into Jerry's mom. I couldn't let my guard down or have a weak moment without being compared to Jerry's mom.  Every time I gave him a chore to do, I would hear: "Mom, that's harsh, I'm pretty sure Jerry's mom wouldn't make me do that that."  Or when I would disagree with anyone on any level, I would hear "I'm sure Jerry's mom wouldn't have done that." 

As time went on, my son matured and began to see the reality of Jerry and his mom.  I don't know exactly what happened or when it did, but his idolization of Jerry and his mom ended.  While they are still good friends, the flawless mom is no longer the golden standard in our home.  Recently, I asked Doc if he wanted me to give a lesser punishment like Jerry's mom would.  "Mom, what are you talking about?  Why would you act like Jerry's mom? That's lame," he replied. It was then we both knew, I was Doc's mom, and with that mouth, he was my son for sure.

It's how I was razed....


  1. Great article! LOVED the

    Have a beautiful day!


  2. Hey Dawnita:
    James gave me the link to your blog so that I could puruse it while stuffing my face with dinner (must eat and be entertained before settling in for a good night's work in the 'ole EC). I love reading what's in your mind and on your heart. Your words are encouraging and help bring me into focus. I added a link to your blog onto mine and Mike's blog page (we don't update it often...but it's there all the same). Reading blogs is something I like to do in my 'down time'...yours will be one I'm sure I'll go back to often! Thanks so much for sharing your insight, wit, experience and hopes.
    Blessing and peace to you in 2011. Hopefully I'll see you before the Christmas office party :).
    -Annie Biers

  3. I really enjoyed reading this post. I have 4 children & they all view me in a different light. This post was nice because no matter what was said about Jerry's mom, you did not buckle under pressure and become insecure. You remained faithful to who you are. Very nice.