Friday, July 27, 2012

Boaz or Dumbaz?

This post was inspired by a viral fb post (author unknown) and recent conversations with my girlfriends. The content may be offensive to sensitive ears and delicate spirits. No fear, skip this one. Holy roller post coming soon....

I woke up to long stemed roses today.  No reason. Just because. You see girls, when you marry a Boaz, a hero of sorts, that's what happens. You get roses for no reason. Not only that, but he changes pampers, wakes up at 3am on throw up duty, washes dishes, orders take out, and even knows what a vacuum is.  All while YOU submit to him. It's almost magical.

The problem comes in when women go out looking for Boaz and find posers like Dumbaz, Lazyaz, Brokeaz, or the (worst in my opinion) Stupidaz.

In the words of my friend Marion, "Everything that glitters ain't gold."

How can you tell the difference? Read the book of Ruth.

Does your man live with you or his mama? Is he easily angered when held accountable? Does he struggle with subject/verb agreement?  uh huh....Dumbaz!

Unlike Dumbaz, Boaz knew how to treat a lady.  He gave Ruth provision and protection. He had made name for himself as a businessman. He was successful in his own right.  He was heroic.

Does your man pay? Does he have a legitimate income?  No? He's one of the twins...Lazyaz or Brokeaz.

Unlike Lazyaz and Brokeaz, Boaz worked. He maintained fields with abundant harvests. He was a rich man. So much so that Ruth and Naomi were able to live by gleaning leftovers.

Does your man handle responsibility? Does he do what's right/ required of  him?  If no, he could be Stupidaz!

Unlike Stupidaz, Boaz had a clue. He was sensitive to Ruth and Naomi's needs and stepped up to take responsibility as their kinsman redeemer. He was a man of integrity.

Is there such a man these days? YES, "Boaz" does exist in the 21st century.  He is a man that loves and honors God first and seeks a wife to provide for and protect.

How do you find one?  You don't. He has to find you ( Proverbs 18:22). You seek God first, practice being a "keeper at home" (Titus 2) and let everything else be added to your life (Luke 12:31).

FYI~ Boaz is not interested in your Divaaz

Thursday, July 26, 2012

I Didn't Want to Be a Mom

While pretending to be asleep as my crew makes me a surprise breakfast, I reflect on 2012 and I am eternally grateful. (Sidebar~ really guys? How long does it take to scramble an egg and burn the toast? I've been waiting for like an hour!)   This past month of motherhood has been the greatest one yet.  I have watched my children face adversity head on, go into battle like warriors, and come out unharmed. And to think, 20 years ago, I didn't want children.

Twenty years ago, Oprah Winfrey was my idol. I had been groomed to be an independent Black woman.  I interned with one of the largest banks in the nation and had lunch with the guy whose signature was stamped on the checks.  I was trained in management and had every intention of being the Queen Bee of a Fortune 500 by age 30. I was taught to set goals and do something everyday to accomplish that goal, and I did.  When I was 18, I made more money than my mother.  I wore suits to work everyday and carried a briefcase. A family would only slow me down and ruin my life plan of waking up to the Atlantic Ocean every morning.

But God....

During my planning process of world domination and accumulating stacks and stacks of cash, I noticed that it was never enough.  There was always somebody smarter, more connected, and more driven than me.  It became exhausting and overwhelming.  I wanted fulfillment.

So I married a preacher. Ha!

While I still have lunch with the guy who signs the checks (wink), the Queen Bee thing often backfires and the Fortune 500 sometimes ends up a "Series of UNfortunate Events." To be honest, marriage has been the most challenging thing I've ever done.  Parenting, even worse. But God has given me grace to do them both, sometimes successfully. Sometimes, not so much. I am so thankful God gave me the desires of my heart through parenting even though he had to change my desire to the things he desired for me. Going my own way would have caused me to miss out on the most rewarding part of my life~ raising children. I would take dirty diapers and throw up over a designer suit any day. (FYI~ God can do both!)

 The bonus is that my marriage and family is not in competition with anyone else. I get to run the race set before me (Heb. 12:1,2). I am only in competition with myself and ALL God has called me to do. So I don't give a rip who's smarter, more connected or more driven. I'm not running that race. Embrace who you are and where God has you. Whether you have a full house or are praying fervently for God to fill it, run the race set before YOU. God will give you grace.