Boaz or Dumbaz?

This post was inspired by a viral fb post (author unknown) and recent conversations with my girlfriends. The content may be offensive to sensitive ears and delicate spirits. No fear, skip this one. Holy roller post coming soon....

I woke up to long stemed roses today.  No reason. Just because. You see girls, when you marry a Boaz, a hero of sorts, that's what happens. You get roses for no reason. Not only that, but he changes pampers, wakes up at 3am on throw up duty, washes dishes, orders take out, and even knows what a vacuum is.  All while YOU submit to him. It's almost magical.

The problem comes in when women go out looking for Boaz and find posers like Dumbaz, Lazyaz, Brokeaz, or the (worst in my opinion) Stupidaz.

In the words of my friend Marion, "Everything that glitters ain't gold."

How can you tell the difference? Read the book of Ruth.

Does your man live with you or his mama? Is he easily angered when held accountable? Does he struggle with subject/verb agreement?  uh huh....Dumbaz!

Unlike Dumbaz, Boaz knew how to treat a lady.  He gave Ruth provision and protection. He had made name for himself as a businessman. He was successful in his own right.  He was heroic.

Does your man pay? Does he have a legitimate income?  No? He's one of the twins...Lazyaz or Brokeaz.

Unlike Lazyaz and Brokeaz, Boaz worked. He maintained fields with abundant harvests. He was a rich man. So much so that Ruth and Naomi were able to live by gleaning leftovers.

Does your man handle responsibility? Does he do what's right/ required of  him?  If no, he could be Stupidaz!

Unlike Stupidaz, Boaz had a clue. He was sensitive to Ruth and Naomi's needs and stepped up to take responsibility as their kinsman redeemer. He was a man of integrity.

Is there such a man these days? YES, "Boaz" does exist in the 21st century.  He is a man that loves and honors God first and seeks a wife to provide for and protect.

How do you find one?  You don't. He has to find you ( Proverbs 18:22). You seek God first, practice being a "keeper at home" (Titus 2) and let everything else be added to your life (Luke 12:31).

FYI~ Boaz is not interested in your Divaaz

The day I became a woman (hair drama, part 1)

You would think that after birthing 5 babies, owning a business, starting a ministry, and "pastoring" a church, I would have considered myself an adult.  But it wasn't until that fateful day in an upscale salon in Georgia that I would truly graduate into womanhood.

You see, my story begins in the early 80's with a Jheri curl.  It was my first fashionable hairstyle.  In a effort to keep up with the latest trend, I found myself subject to my stylist's opinion and expertise.  On that day, I lost myself.  For years to come the loss would only get worse. I was controlled by stylists, trends, and processes that left my tresses in an unruly rut.

I have had every cut and style from pixie to micro.  I've had colors that didn't "take," and waited 12 hours for extensions.  I've had relaxer left in my hair and shampoo saturating my blouse.  I've been tricked into "new" locations (all questionable, one even a crime scene) and driven across state lines all at the mercy of the lady with the barbicide.  My reward...at best, a dry itchy scalp with breakage and the same "wiggy" layered cut for years to come.

So imagine my exuberance when I thought I had found the "one."  She was a beautiful lady in my age range.  She worked in an upscale salon and had a track record for her timeliness. She helped me bring my hair back to a healthy state after it was over processed, and I never had to redo my "do." We had a 3 year client/stylist relationship. So when I decided to take a breather from chemicals, I went in for a haircut.  This stylist was my friend, so I trusted her completely with my healthy hair.  She is the only one who had ever cut my hair (in GA.)  Her expertise was the reason for my decision.

That fateful day I went in, we had great conversation.  We talked about the kids, the weather, and the economy.  She was her cheery cute self, and I was my quiet, melancholy usual.  She finished and asked me for $70.  I thought it was $55, but maybe with the economy and all.... She didn't offer me the mirror, but she was backed up and all...... I paid her, TIPPED her, trusted her, and left. A quick glance at my "Rhianna" cuteness and I was off to run errands for the rest of the day. 

When I got home to show off my hair to my crew my nonchalant husband requested my usual 360 degree twirl then asked,  "Is that a new style that I don't know about?" This is the horror I saw:

My girl had jacked me up!!  And with a smile on her face!  THIS my friends is when I became a woman!  I did not cuss, I did not cry, I did not confront.  Instead, I strengthened myself in the Lord just as David did in Ziklag  after he had no more strength to cry (1 Sam. 30:6).  I was done.  I was finished being subject to substandard stylists with delusions of grandeur and excessive bills to pay. I was done being ruled by the latest salon trends and Hollywood hairstyles.  I had completed the course of having hair like the girl in the magazine or on the stage.  I was no longer my hair. My stylist was no longer my god. My trust was in God, even in  this. 

 I have no animosity towards my former stylist.  We all have bad days.  She taught me a lesson that day... I'm the boss of me. And she was NOT my friend.

Everybody's got a little bit of crazy in 'em

It takes my husband longer to dry off after a shower than it does for him to actually take the shower. He has to have EVERY drop of water on his body dried before he steps out. 

My sister doesn't eat meat off a bone.

I have to be the first to get some banana pudding because I hate when it starts to darken.  My fried fish has to be less than 3 minutes old, or I won't eat it. And I don't eat at restaurants with poor landscaping or chipped paint. 

Have you ever wondered why people have such odd habits and idiosyncrasies? Why are they so quirky?  It's simple. Everybody has a little bit of crazy in 'em.
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It Takes a Village (idiot) to Raise a Teenager

I have always taken a lot of pride in raising my children.  I haven't worked full-time in 17 years in an effort to give them all the attention they needed, teach them and train them in the ways of the Lord, and provide a healthy stable environment.  As a result, they all read at an early age, were A honor roll students, recited the Westminster catechism with ease and would pray for your salvation at the drop of a dime. I had achieved ultimate parenting perfection.  It was a matter of time before I would take over the world!!  As my evil plan to achieve world domination continued, I made sure my children didn't mix with your B level student, form a relationship with your wayward child, or be seen in public acting "unsavory." 
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Peace be Still

Today God has covered me with his grace in such a sweet way.  Do you remember the scripture where the disciples were in the boat and the storm came? Everyone was shaken up, upset, and very fearful, but Jesus was asleep. The disciples came to Jesus in a panic and he simply said, "peace be still." (Mark 4:35-41)
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Getting Dissed by the Church Pt. 1

Being from a small, country town, I was raised with the belief that church membership was like marriage...."only death can do us part."  Especially when your grandaddy built the church with his own hands and your grandaddy in-love was the pastor for over 30 years.  There's essentially no way out!
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Getting Dissed by the Church Pt. 2

You see, churches, like people, have individual personalities. What is a priority to some, is not a priority to others.  A no-brainer to you, may require deep thought from me.  We learned this the hard way.
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