The day I originally wrote this blog, was the day I read about Trayvon Martin. I had seen it posted on friends' pages for over a week. I decided not to be a bandwagoner. I ignored it. Annoyed by the repetitive posts, I finally clicked on the link. It broke my heart. And for about 30 seconds, I wondered, "what's the use?" WHY would I bother trying to raise model citizens if they would just end up being treated like savages and shot on the street. A black male doesn't stand a chance in America. It added to the frustration I already felt and reopened a wound that had just recently started to heal. I immediately called an audible in my household and ONCE AGAIN, we changed our protocol.
I changed my son's curfew. I limited his visitation radius and he now had to check-in with me every time he changed locations. And no, he could no longer wear his hoodie at night. This new list was added to our ban on wearing red, wearing all black, walking at night with a group of other black boys, and associating too closely with white girls. Sound silly? Not to black families. ALL of these things have gotten black boys both harassed and killed. (Somebody with a gun felt threatened) Arizona Tea was once a staple in our home. Our taste buds have changed.
The past 3 months have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. The Prom drama opened a plethora of opinions, speculations, assumptions, and blatant ignorant remarks from my readers. For all of them, I am grateful. I was especially blessed to have my Christian friends surround me with love and encouragement. The Lord of Hosts was with me, as he was with David facing Goliath. However, the greatest lesson I learned was about myself. We ALL still have a LONG way to go:
I sat at a recent sporting event and caught a glimpse of my "offender." I wanted to approach him and ask why the melanin in my skin offended him. I wanted to know why he was such a coward and allowed his daughter to face ridicule. Most of all, I wanted to know why he had not returned my phone calls. Instantly, I heard the Lord speak to me through my spirit. God reminded me that the anger and bitterness I had for that man was no different from the hatred he had for me. God reminded me that it is only by grace through faith that I am saved. I was humbled. At that moment, I released my offender and walked away. I forgave him. Jesus did that for me on the cross.
You see, we are ALL one bad decision away from an offensive comment, a fit of anger, a life-changing choice. Will you walk away or pull the trigger?
My son went to prom on Friday night. He had the time of his life. His date? A beautiful head turning blonde in a silver sequined dress wearing hot pink stilettos. They have been buddies since middle school. We knew her parents. We've been to their home.... (same story, different girl)
As my son prepares to leave my home to pursue his dream of playing college football, his father and I will cover him daily with prayer and believe God for his protection. As he takes his melanin, his hoodie, and love of Skittles and Arizona tea, I will be left with 2 recently taken pictures of him: one taken at a sporting event with my son standing and cheering next to a man (unknowingly) who showed hatred toward him, and another taken at prom with the man's daughter.
It's how we were razed....