It is the culmination of senior year, Prom. For weeks I have gone back and forth with my son as he has tried to decide who to ask. He has a great group of friends that have loved, respected and supported each other throughout high school. They attend every event as an entourage, each taking turns as the superstar. So who to ask wasn't a HUGE issue, it was more of a technical issue. Every Homecoming, Christmas, Powder Puff, and yes, Prom picture has been taken as a group. They are inseparable!
So when he decided to take a buddy that he had known since middle school, I was relieved. They were in the same group last year at prom so this year would be easy. We knew the parents. We've been to their home. Our kids had even transferred to a new school together.
He asked, she said yes.
Imagine my surprise when my son came home for lunch today and told me that his date gave him a tearful cancellation and said that her father didn't "believe in that." It knocked the wind out of me, but my son handled it like a man. He was sober and mature. But I knew he was hurt. He passed up the opportunity to hang with his friends at the local burrito shop to come home and talk to me.
After our conversation, I wept. I ached for my son. All that he had worked for and achieved in his lifetime was taken away from him in an instant. For those few seconds, my son was nothing but a worthless nigger unworthy to be in the presence of a white girl. He had been lynched 2012 style. Publicly ridiculed and punished without having committed a crime. Sentenced to a slow death with a lethal injection of hatred that will inevitably bring about a tinge of fear and inferiority that would last him a lifetime.
This is not an issue that I choose to sweep under the rug. It is a wound that can only heal with exposure. We have exercised restraint in many other instances. But this story will be told. We have pioneered many efforts and made tremendous sacrifices in an effort to break down racial barriers in our community. It is my belief that this is a "sin thing" more than a "skin thing." Remember, we know this family well (not well enough apparently). Our kids attend Christian school together ~one of which was covenantal~ Yet they have misrepresented themselves as well as Christ.
Yes, there WILL be a dialogue. Unlike the public embarrassment my son was sentenced to today, it will be held in private and the issue will be discussed. The days of little Black boys being the token friend, stellar athlete, lead singer, and (my personal favorite), charity case in lily white churches and communities must cease. Stop pimpin' the kids! Was he invited to your house? Your birthday party? Or do you only sing his praises when he scores in the game? If he can't be part of your (entire) world, you should really evaluate whether or not you are fulfilling your purpose as it pertains to winning souls to God's Diverse Kingdom.
Let us no longer make excuses. Can we please commit to one another to try to do better? Can we share this world God has given us with an appreciation of our differences? Can we truly embrace the differences in one another and not just cop out with "I don't see color" and go on our merry way to the other side of town? Can we TRULY lay our sins before God and ask him to help us, heal us, and restore us? Can we repent and change our ways?
In time, my son will heal from this, but he will never be as secure in himself as he was yesterday. I'll get over it, and we'll
move on. Until then,
We're being razed.....
Labels: Christian parenting, racism
